Depression....worry...hectic life...I feel...no I am over whelmed!!

 

My job...I am as of now still at the same job, my boss decided she wasn't making any budget cuts and the council went along with it...great...except now everyone in county government is upset because our office is one of the few that didn't make cuts.  All county employees (except the three in my office) are having a meeting Monday to try and make the council cut us.

Why do I stay...?  I don't know...I think it is the principle of it all...my job is very important to county government...if my job was cut the county would not generate tax dollars...I really really like the girls I work with.  It is just really hard getting the cold shoulder, to have people stop talking when you walk into a room.  I think they will feel bad about their behavior when this all blows over.

 

My health is great...not 100% but I can live with how things are now.  I am a little depressed...but I think a good week on the beach in Clearwater can cure it...hope to see ya there Dar.

 

I have been very busy with my mother...she recently retired and my sister and I had one huge surprise retirement party for her...we got her good.  She thought we were taking her to a surprise birthday party for a cousin.  When we walked in everyone yelled surprise...we had to tell her they were yelling surprise to her.

Her eye sight is deteriorating rapidly, I think this may have a lot to do with my own depression.  She has worked very very hard her whole life...physical factory work...and now when she should be enjoying life her eye sight is going fast.  I keep telling myself God has a plan...it is all happening for a reason...I just need to start believing it.

 

Cliff...His car is great...!  I think he and Elyssa may be cooling it for a while.  He is OK with it...I just hate seeing the hurt in his eyes.  I promise I will finish his story soon...just a couple more updates and you all will know his whole journey...our journey.

 

We have a new addition to our family.  Miss Madelyn..Maddy.  She entered our family on Feb. 18.  I almost divorce my husband over her...Maddy is a dog...a westie...she makes two.  She has a story...a long heart breaking story. The husband lied about how he aquired her.  He said he found her...this dirty...matted...skinny...sick...lame...little westie.  I wanted to call the police so they could find her owner.  This is where we just about divorced...I knew he was lying.  He wouldn't let me call the police. 

The truth...this kid, actually an adult, seen the husband walking our westie..Winston.  Told the husband he was leaving town and needed to find a good home for his dog...and wondered if we were interested.  Of course the husband says yes.  The kid just drops the dog off at a friends house and then gets the hell out of dodge.  When John saw the dog he knew he had to take her to get her out of these peoples lives.  I am very glad he did...I was just very upset that my husband thought he had to lie to me about the whole situation.  ...when I layed my eyes on her...I was so mad.  This dog needed medical attention...  I was mad that someone could do this to a dog...she couldn't even walk.  After taking her to the vet...I was even more upset.  Her hip was dislocated...her leg was broken...a break that happened a long time ago and was so bad it damaged the nerves in her leg and the jagged edges of the bone had grown into her muscle...it bring tears to my eyes just thinking about the pain she must have been in for a very, very long time.  The vet had to amputate the leg, all the way to the hip.  She walks just fine...she is a bit slow and still very thin but seems to be getting heathier everyday.  It has taken her awhile to take upto us...but we are making progress.  She crawled into my lap last night and she is letting us pick her up.  Any tips you may have...Laura...would be greatly appreciated.  The vet is thinking she is about five...and in good health other than her weight and her leg.

 

Well I am anxious to get back into blogging...I do hope this finds everyone well...Lisa and Marissa you have been in my prayers. 

 

 

 

 

I feel like all I do lately is make excuses not to blog....that by no means is not the case.  I miss it terribly...I miss my blog friends.  My life has just been so crazy as of late.  I am beginning to think that 2006 is not a good year.

 

I am still driving Cliff around...my job is on the line.  The county that I work for is broke.  They have asked all office holders to make 30% cuts out of their general fund budget.  My job shouldn't be in jeopardy because I am the only one in our office paid out of a different fund. - it is very complicated.  But my boss is not going to take a cut in her pay (and she shouldn't have to) so that leaves the only other girl in our office to take the brunt of the cuts.  She has been employed by the county for 18 years...she would have 10 days left to work.  I don't feel that is how my boss will be making her cuts...I think she will cut both our hours.   Our office can't run and meet deadlines with those kinds of personnel cuts.  They are even talking about taking away all benefits....I think it is time to get out. 

 

I know how government and politics work so I am in the process of looking for another job.  It has been very stressful...some of the people I work with daily won't even speak to me because they think I am safe from losing my job or getting a pay cut. 

 

The hard part...I love the people I work with...and to have some of them give me a cold shoulder is really breaking my heart.  I am just sitting a my desk, doing my work.  I have told the girls in my office that I am looking for other work...I have to look out for the welfare of my family...they totaly understand.  I have worked in this office for 10 years.

 

I have several prospects...that is where I need a little prayer...one of the jobs would give me a considerable pay raise...and would still be right here in my little town. 

 

On a brighter note "Cliff found a car" (2002 grand prix)...just waiting to get the hand controls on...Feb 15, then I am a free woman.  He was really looking for a van...there was a certain kind of lift he wanted but he couldn't find a used van to meet the specs for the lift.  He will drivethe car until he gets out of school and finds a nice paying job and then he will buy the van of his dreams.  That's his plan anyway....

 

Gotta go Love ya'all

 

 

 

 

Cliff's junior year he was chosen as the Hoosier Boy's State delegate for our school.  It was quite an honor...we weren't quite prepared for the consequences.  He would go for one week in June...he would stay on campus at a university up north. 

 

***Hoosier boys state...one delegate from each participating school in Indiana is chosen to come together to learn about Indiana government.  They hold elections...for state and county offices.  They learn what each elected officials job duties are, and then have a mock govenment day ..it is very educational.

 

Cliff had a blast...he came home very excited...he was elected as the state assessor...made many new friends...and decided he would like to change his college plans...instead of being a doctor he now was looking into politics.  Oh I hope that changes...!!!!

 

He came home with something else...a pressure sore...!!!  Pressure sores...ulcers...bed sores...whatever you call them they are a paraplegics worst night mare...  How did this happen!!!  Cliff figured it was the shower chair...he has always taken a bath.. getting in and out by himself.. but at boy's state they didn't think that was safe enough so they insisted he use a handicap room with a handicapped shower chair.  It had a rough seat and didn't have a high back...Cliff's balance isn't the greatest so it would take him forever to take a bath.  (It takes 20 minutes for a pressure sore to form)

 

...and with Cliff being Cliff, he didn't let me know until about the middle of August...two months later...ewww!!!  and then I had to question him...I had noticed his boxers were always damp on the right side and he had started sweating profusely.  What started as a pin hole was now about the size of an eraser.  So off to the doctor we went...bad news...Cliff's Doctor was getting ready to retire and was handing "his kids" over to a new doctor...we will call him Dr. Didalittle. 

 

Dr. Didalittle...he looked at his hip...had the nurse show me how to do wet to dry bandages...sent us home... said if it wasn't any better in two weeks to bring him back in.  So in two weeks back in we went...only now he had a fever along with the drainage from the ulcer and the sweating is continuous.  Dr. Didalittle looked at his hip...had the nurse show me how to do wet to dry bandages and sent us home said if it wasn't better in two weeks to bring him back in...de ja vu.  Two weeks later we get to see Dr. Didalitte again...this time he said basically the same thing only he put him on an antibiotic.

 

This went on every two weeks until I blew my top, it takes alot for me to blow up but when I do everyone should stay clear within about a 100 mile radius...my blow up took place around the first of November, three months after treatment was started.  By this time the ulcer was the size of a pop can...you can only imagine how much drainage he had...he was wearing three t-shirts so his outer shirt wouldn't get sweaty....he had fever constantly and was losing alot of weight.  Dr. Didalittle wanted to send him home doing the same routine we had been doing since the middle of August...what about this routine did he think was working..???  I well...I called him a quack...fired him...demanded to see another doctor...!!!!  He on the other hand called security...called the staff psychiatrist...told me I was crazy...I told him he was a poor excuse for a doctor.  This went on and on. 

 

Then my angel appeared...Brenda...She had been Cliff's nurse since he was born.  She knew Cliff and I very well.  She asked Dr. Didalittle to leave the room...called off security...told the psychiatrist his services were not needed.  She got a camera...took a picture of Cliff's hip.  She couldn't believe what it looked like.  I don't know if any of you have ever seen a pressure sore...this was our first experience.  This was this size of a pop can and growing...raw meat...open...oozing...red...swollen.  She asked us to leave quietly...she would be seeing Dr. Lindseth soon...he would be in contact with us. 

 

Brenda e-mailed the picture to Dr. Lindseth...he phoned me by the end of the week.  He was out of the country...visiting his wifes family in Polland.  He was very ashamed by the treatment Cliff was getting...he was beside himself by the way I was treated by a man who called himself a doctor...by a man whom he was handing "his kids" over to.  We were to be in his office on Tuesday the following week...he was cutting his vacation short...

 

Dr. Lindseth was appalled when he actually saw the ulcer with his own eyes.  We were scheduled for surgery the next day...

 

The surgery only lasted a couple of hours and our hospital stay was short, 4 days I think but the surgery was drastic...the pressure sore was on Cliff's right hip...it was a little larger than a pop can on the outside...on the inside the part that Dr. Didalittle couldn't see was the size of a paper plate and had infected the bone.  Dr. Lyndseth had to remove all the tissue and the lower portion of his hip.  ......urggggg.

 

The hospital stay was short....the recovery long.  We had to rent an air bed...he laid on his left side from November to the end of February.  Thank goodness Cliff was a good student...he sat out his whole second Trimester.  They were going to use a web cam and let him school that way...but one of the councelors thought that was showing favoritism.  We had a tutor from the school come twice a week to do the lessons but he never turned anything in....so...Cliff lost the whole second trimester...and still graduated with honors.: )

 

***Dr. Lindseth came out of retirement soley for Cliff...he was his one and only patient for the next four years.  Cliff would see him in clinic at the hospital every 6 months and he still had his surgery rights...those rights would be utilized in the coming years.....

 

Thank you for all the well wishes...I feel like a new woman. 

 

Just letting you know I am still here and working on my next blog....I have to finish Cliff's story. 

 

Cliff still hasn't found a car...he has it set in his mind what he wants...so we are running all the time trying to get him to classes...Thank God for Elyssa   : )   Yeh...they are still doing great!!!

 

Thanks again my blog dork friends...it may take me a few days to get all got up on all my blog walking...I hope all is well with all of you.

 

 

Sorry I haven't posted lately...I have been down with the flu.  I think Jens little soldier passed it to me thru blogland.  ewww...the spills...chills...achey...